Not long ago I had one of the highest highs in my ministry. Everything went well, a plan was envisioned, put into play, an executed well. We had a service that I had been dreaming about for about seven months, and it went awesome! Better than could have been expected. I went home that night on cloud nine, expecting things to continue going well. The next day, Sunday, was one of the worst days in ministry I had ever had. Things didn't go well, not at all. Along with that I found myself strugelling with sin more than normal (and giving in at an alarming rate). "What happened?!!!!" I went from a high of all highs, to a low, and it was a bad low.
Even this past Sunday, everything went well, it was the best Sunday of our Advent season, but then something came up in the afternoon that brought me down. It seems like it always happens.
I think this is the way it works. When we are on top of the mountain, it seems like the logical time for the devil to come after us. And come after us he does, he comes hard, and for some reason we are not ready because of the success we just had. We get tempted, and we fall. Heck, sometimes I think I don't want to succeed, if this is what happens next.
I don't think that is the only thing going on. On some level the Lord also keeps his servants humble, he wants us to do great things for him, but he wants us to do them for his glory not ours.
Am I the only one, or has this been your experience as well?
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1 comment:
I'm right there with you. It's an endless cycle that can be seen in so many places: The Children of Israel were delivered from the hand of Pharaoh only to build the golden calf not long after. Nature is redeemed in Spring, only to eventually lose it all and die in Winter. It's a continual cycle for me spiritually as well.
I have found myself praying less when things go well. It's like I start to believe that I've got it all figured out and that I don't need God. Then all of a sudden, I'm reminded that I really do--a lot.
This probably has something to do with that verse that says it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. We need things to make us look dumb in order to help us realize that we are just that in comparison to God.
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